Does appreciation = authenticity?

Now almost half-way through the month, I'm finding I'm living more authentically. I started off picking a certain person to express my gratitude towards each day, but now I'm finding I'm just being more honest with everyone. If someone does something nice, I say something to honor them. When I feel someone has really helped me out, I instantly express that thankfulness. Its very refreshing. I don't know why I was so scared before to tell people how much I care, love, and enjoy who they are and what they do. I'm getting a great feeling about this months challenge :)

It all comes back to you

Being only three days into the January benefits, I'm already seeing great outcomes. I knew this month would make other people feel great, but I did not expect to get so much in return. It has restored my belief in the goodness of people.

A few examples: 1)While walking to yoga, a warm and lively group of strangers offered me free beer. If that doesn't brighten your day, I don't know what would. 2)A bus blew past me as I wasn't paying attention, but then stopped ahead and the kind driver ushered me aboard, and entertained me with his sense of humor. 3) I feel evermore grateful for the people in my life, when they return my notes of appreciation with endless love.

May this karma works its magic in your life as well :) Happy loving.

January Challenge

January challenge: Everyday tell one person I care about how much they mean to me.
(Either in person, through a brief e-mail, a hand-written note, or any other touching creative way)


Why this challenge: My grand-mother passed away last month, making me realize how little love I (we) express to each other. I’m sure it’ll make you’re loved ones day a bit better too.

How it began

My personal spending habits were at an all-time high, while my income remained low, and the economy plummeted lower. I rationalized my impulse buying with “it’s what the economy needs right now,” as if splurging on a new pair of boots or massage would raise the Dow hundreds of points. Beginning to feel guilty and frightened as my account inched towards $0.00, I decided I needed to do something before I ended up in debt. In the spirit of the holidays, I made the choice to have a self-less December. I wouldn’t spend any money on myself for an entire month. Food and personal necessities (think toilet paper and tooth paste) remained safe buys, but everything else was off limits.

I didn’t think it would be too hard. Although, 3 days in I was itching to buy something, anything! But I wouldn’t give in. I trudged on… and at the end of week 1 it became a bit easier. Of course, I COULD buy for other people, so I received some pleasure in buying Christmas gifts. With every purchase, I was tempted to buy a little something for myself. After charging a couple jackets for family members didn’t I deserve a measly tee-shirt for me? NO! I needed to erase this evil thinking that had me brainwashed into mindless splurging.

I rarely needed something that very second. So I continued reminding myself, come January 1, I could spend away. But within a few days the urge for that amazing product melted away. One co-worker told me she put a two-week “think about it” hold on everything. A grand idea, I thought! Another told me he rates the things he wants on a scale of 1-10, if the need level isn’t at least a 7 he won’t even consider getting it. Half-way through, and I was already picking up great tips, feeling uplifted, and enjoying seeing my money STAY in the bank.

I began spending more quality time with friends and family. I picked up books I had impulsively bought ages ago, but never read. I decided to foster kittens (another blog in itself), which turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences. Suddenly my life lacked material goods, but was filled with wonderful things that brought me real warmth and contentment. A challenge meant to keep me from going broke, had given me more than I could’ve imagined.

I must admit I cheated once, well twice. On the 30th (I was so close!) I broke down and bought myself a case for my laptop. And as I was out, and had broken my month’s mantra I bought a running shirt as well. No one is perfect, and as good as I did all month, mistakes are a part of life. Hard to resist is the temptation to fail hard. Small impulses here and there won’t break the bank, or ruin anyone’s life, but letting them snowball is what gets people into trouble.

With a grip of my spending habits and in control of my finances again, I came to the conclusion: single-tasking goals may be the only way to accomplish them. How often do you try to lose weight, clean the house, update your resume, volunteer, and get more sleep all at the same time? It’s what I struggle with daily; taking on too much, and not being successful at any of it. Perhaps assigning one challenge at a time allows your mind to concentrate without overwhelming it.

I feel I would be cheating myself if I didn’t experiment with this further, and I’d like to invite you to join me. What if each month in 2009 I continued with a new challenge, and see what comes out of it? I learned so much in December I can only imagine what a whole year of that could do. It’ll be hard, damn hard, I’m sure. But the rewards will out-weigh the sacrifices. My game plan: each month pick a new single-task challenge, stick to it for the entire month, write about my experiences, live and learn.

Happy New Year and happy challenges!